Doing A Number On Yourself
The Sunday Age
Sunday February 21, 1999
YOU are an individual, there's no one else in the world quite like you ... So why not make your car a statement to the world?
These are the words that VicRoads uses to flog its ``whole range of exciting options in personalised and customised number plates" to the hapless public. I kid you not. It appears to be a serious promotion. Sadly, it appears to have worked.
But while you're busily being individual, VicRoads also informs you that ``all Victorian number plates display the slogan Victoria - On The Move", a nonsensical bit of quasi-political advertorial gibberish if ever I saw one.
``A little imagination is all it takes ..." the promotion continues. ``Little" seems to be the operative word here judging by the multi-colored plates I've spotted around the town this past week. These highly evocative foraysinto individuality arefor the large part incomprehensible if the 50 or so I have observed over the past few days are any indication. That's leaving aside the 50 or so more that simply attempted to immortalise themselves with their initials and some combination generally representing age or birth date.
Some customised plates are clearly designed for commercial purposes. Locksmiths, it seems, have a penchant for the plate. There was LOCKUP and, a few days later, the rival UNLOCK. There was the house reblocker STUMPS and the fishing tackle store HOOKUP.
There are those who simply want to have their name in print somewhere, anywhere, it seems. Hence NIKKYT, SUSANC and CJFRY. Then there are those poor sods who weren't quite quick enough to secure a truly personal plate and had to settle with something like NICKY7, SUZI9 or JACKI8. Some look to make a statement about themselves, as in WIKED1, CAPTN and RACEY. Others simply use plates to remind themselves which car they own as in TARAGO and BEMW (well, he was close).
Then things get more obscure. Is COCKY2 a birdlover? What goes on ANYDAY? What is MICRO? Whose WEDDIN? Which STING? What's CHEWY? You'd need to be ESP10 to work out any of this.
It was much simpler when there was no choice, when number plates were black and white and had VIC stamped on the bottom. In those days it was a matter of luck if your vehicle happened to be christened GIT or HAG.
You can send an obscure message to the world in this way, provided you're prepared to hand over between $295 and $395 to the state's coffers. Strikes me you'd have to have more money than sense and not much occupying your attention otherwise.
I wonder if anyone has registered HRUMPH?
© 1999 The Sunday Age
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